Reconnecting through RVing
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| Whew!! |
Geoff and I are the poster couple for "opposites attract"
I am an Enneagram 6 wing 5, which means I am reserved, private, and prefer to spend time alone in my nook pursuing academic interests. I crave security and fear anything that might jeopardize that security. Consequently, I forever mull "what if..." scenarios. I believe if I can plan for the worst, then I will be okay. I take this one step further and plan my planning sessions 😏 I am a rule follower because I fear the possible consequences. My obsession with organization helps keep my constant anxiety at bay. I avoid conflict at all costs. Can't we all get along?
Geoff is an Enneagram 7 wing 8. Life is a party and we shouldn't take it too seriously. He seeks pleasure in the present rather than worrying about the future. Rules are mere guidelines, and too many rules (especially with regards to home organization) can be a real buzzkill. He is an extrovert who craves social relationships. While he doesn't look to pick a fight, he is not afraid of conflict and will tenaciously hold his ground.
While these opposing traits initially drew us together ... over time these differences pulled us apart. We put the relationship on hold in favor of focusing on children and careers. Forty years later, we found we had little in common. I had my hobbies, and he had his friends. We were roommates but not a couple.
How Toto helped us Reconnect
Despite our vast differences, travel has always been a mutual interest.
We both love to visit new places and learn about the culture. Of course, our travel styles vary. Geoff seeks adventure and enjoys talking with the locals. I prefer visiting museums or people-watching from a neighborhood cafe. But we both enjoy coming together for dinner and sharing our experiences.
We thought retirement would involve overseas travel and luxurious cruises. But Covid nixed those plans. The idea of RVing was not a new one (which I wrote about here), but not something we seriously entertained. But the world situation -- and family dynamics -- gave us reason to reconsider.
Many friends expected disastrous results. After all, wouldn't a small space exasperate our differences??
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| 30 years later... |
As it turns out, our differences complement one another. Where I am weak, he is strong. And vice versa.
- Geoff now has a hobby! He thoroughly enjoys learning all parts of the RV: plumbing, electrical, diesel engines. How to winterize the rig (and then de-winterize). How to upgrade internet and install solar panels. He now has multiple project lists, maintenance lists, and systems checklists. He watches YouTube videos and even takes notes 😮
- While Geoff focuses on the mechanical side of things, I concentrate on making the RV a home. I, too, have organizational lists: how to organize clothes and closet space... the pantry and weekly menus... my hobbies and craft supplies... the dogs.
We both come together for dinner and share our progress. We appreciate one another's work and know both of us are headed toward the same goal.
- Geoff loves to drive. For the last ten years, he traveled the four-state area in a Sprinter van. He does not fear city traffic. He is not intimidated by the size of the rig (with a tow!) This is all part of the great adventure.
- I HATE to drive - especially in the city. My palms sweat at the thought of driving anything larger than my Toyota Rav4. I can't even sit in the RV's passenger seat ... my mind runs amuck with all the "what if..." scenarios regarding the traffic in front of me. Consequently, I have grown to appreciate and admire Geoff's skill (and bravery).
- However... I am a planner, researcher, and analyst. I love creating itineraries for future trips. I develop routes that include frequent stops for dogs. I limit travel days to 4-5 hours. I investigate nearby campsites and try to secure the best deal. I determine the number of days we stay based on points of interest and travel fatigue. And Geoff appreciates and admires this attention to detail.
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